Saturday, June 24, 2017
 
 

       


Who are "Those People" Affected by Abortion?
 A pregnant woman called us one evening at 11:30pm. She had found our website on the Internet and was calling to schedule her first abortion recovery counseling appointment. Oddly enough, she had not yet terminated her pregnancy. She was scheduled for an abortion the next day!  We got goose bumps when she said.... “I know I’m going to need some help. After the procedure tomorrow, I’ll be one of ‘those people!'

Those people are the women, men, siblings, grandparents, and extended family who have chosen an abortion in the past, or been affected by someone who has. Those people are your neighbors down the street, your pastor or his wife, your nephew's teacher, or your son's coach. Those people are your daughter's best friend, your work-out buddy at the gym, your grandmother or friend from school. You're eating lunch with those people at work, studying the Bible with them at church, watching them on TV, listening to them on a CD, or seeing them run for public office.

Those people are individuals who chose abortion when it was legal or when it was illegal. Either way, those people were deceived into thinking it was the ONLY way out of an unplanned or medically challenged pregnancy. And then realizing that it was too late!

Those people ARE EVERYWHERE! And they are suffering in silence around the world! WHY? Because they are too ashamed and too frightened that they will be classified as "those people" when they ask or search for help.

The Ripple Effect

When those people have emotional, physical or spiritual complication we usually don't know how to reach out to them as a society, church or even as a family. After all, it was their choice, right? Legal abortion is safe and supposedly a simple solution. Unfortunately, those people, who made that "poor choice," don't often know what to do themselves when their world seems to be crashing down around them. And their ONE abortion, through a rippling effect, touches 20, 30 or even 40 people throughout their lifetime.

Some of those effected may choose to do nothing, stuck in denial for years! Others may take a courageous step and seek outside help! If more counselors and therapists would acknowledge a past abortion, the “real root” of those peoples’ anger, depression, addiction or eating disorder might be addressed empathetically!

Helping those who Hurt

So, how and what do we do with those people? How do we treat them? Do we grant them compassion or scold them with contempt? So we lash out in anger? Or reach out in love? Do we grieve with them differently than a family who mourns a child lost to miscarriage or stillbirth? Hummmm, something we should think about....

Let's make it easier and more acceptable for those people to get the healing they need. Let's make it safe to talk with them at school, at church, at work, at home and even within our families. Let’s add "pregnancy termination" to our counseling, life coach or church intake forms. After all, if generations can share the truth, then maybe, just maybe, the pain of abortion will cease. Open up your arms to accepting those people who just might need that one willing heart.

Recovery Changes Lives

When" those people" are finally released from shame, guilt and grief ... lives and souls change!  Physical, emotional and spiritual complications are often resolved. When "those people" can stand up and share about the ramifications of their choice ... other children are saved and families and marriages are healed. All it takes is one willing heart to make it OK for one of those people to share their story. All it takes is for one of those people to be accepted, unconditionally and without judgment.

If you are one of “those people”, or know someone who is, we can help you!  We too, are one of "those people"!

Our goal is for ALL people to find personal help, healing and hope!


After-Abortion Trauma
After-Abortion Trauma: the personal struggle to work through thoughts and feelings about the abortion, the struggle to come to peace with those involved and ultimately, to cope with the loss of life.

So, what is after-abortion trauma? Trauma is often experienced in both men and women after the abortion experience, due to unresolved psychological, physical and spiritual aspects. Symptoms are similar to those in any post traumatic stress disorder and are listed below. Basically, it is the personal struggle to work through thoughts and feelings about the abortion and previous pregnancy, and the goal to come to peace with those involved in the decision making process and ultimate loss of life. Granted some men/women are better equipped to deal with the aftermath of an abortion, but EVERYONE is changed by it!

As one woman quoted: "Once I laid on that table, I was never the same!"

Symptoms of After-Abortion Trauma

The uncomfortable feelings associated with an abortion may not appear all together. Nor will each woman or man possess all of them. Some symptoms may appear immediately or not surface for 5-20 years following the procedure.

  • initial relief that then later subsides
  • emotional numbness
  • depression and grief
  • feelings of regret or guilt
  • relationship difficulties
  • anxiety attacks
  • increase in alcohol or drug use
  • eating disorders
  • suicidal thoughts
  • low self esteem
  • difficulty with intimacy
  • promiscuous activity
  • flashbacks, dreams or nightmares
  • feelings of helplessness/hopelessness
  • anger at their partner and family
  • frustration with friends and co-workers
  • take things out on living children 

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ARIN, Inc. and our affiliates encourage individuals and families affected by reproductive loss to have completed a recovery program PRIOR to
involving themselves in any type of speaking, leadership, legal, research or activism opportunity. See our Principles of Care for further information!


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